She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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