oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
