You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
