i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
