you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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