He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
