Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
