everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I love you.
Bad choice
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
