Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
