So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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