At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
