okay pat passed out under dana's car
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
