I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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