Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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