I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
