He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
