Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
