apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
