would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
