You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize