I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
