Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
