definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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