he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I am available for nakedness
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
