just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
