my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
