I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
