we have pet lesbian snakes
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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