i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
tell me about the eggs
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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