His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
