would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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