Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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