I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
