Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize