I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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