did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
