pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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