You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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