So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
