That's intense
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize