but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
