Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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