But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
