I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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