she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
