i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
