I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize