just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
