everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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