i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
