Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
