btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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