After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Someone stole a lamp last night.
is that a dick in a sweater?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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