question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
