I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
