im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
