She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Randomize