i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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