we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
