1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I need help removing her.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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