Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
