My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
