Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
