Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
