shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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