I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So vagazzling was a success
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
