im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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