i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
