feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
