Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
