Midget sex pt 2 tonight
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
