elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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