life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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