32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
